The Crazy Language
In my college paper, I contributed an excerpt to one favorite pun to the world's most popular language, English, from Richard Lederer. Popular as it is, still more people in the world speak Chinese or Spanish than English; actually only one in seven only speak the English language. More than half of books and 75% of international mail is done in English.
Though I was aware I could be facing a charge of plagiarism, I am too cocky to let this opportunity to pass. To let my colleague Jess put it in her own terms, there was a sense of Elmer in that effort.
And why not print something that's worth a read and make you gasp, oh yeah, I agree.
And why not? If eggplant is not an egg planted, nor pineapple contains either pine or apple, how could we say a boxing ring is square and guinea pig is not from Guinea or is a pig at all?
Call me pilosopo but I will tell you the English language is taken for granted. If I teach an Albanian or Azerbaijani, I cannot explain why if a maker makes and a baker bakes, then why don't fingers fing, letters lett, craters crate nor hammers ham. Or if a teacher taught Sciences, then why doesn't a preacher praught the doctrines of the church?
Pluralization is crazy. If a set of tooth is called teeth, then booth should be beeth. One goose, two geese so does it mean, moose will have meese? I doubt it. And if a vegetarian eat green leafy vegetables, then what type of race do humanitarians eat?
What's more, this language is a mixed combination of ironies and oxymorons when we do recite in a play or play in a recital; park in a driveway or drive in a parkway. When we call a house burning up when it's burning down or filling in a form when we actually fill it out.
Have you asked yourself why overlook and oversee be opposites, while "quite a lot" and "quite a few" are alike? How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another? Have you met a sung hero or a person who is ruly, with peccable language skills and gruntled behavior?
Of course man created English and it reflected the human race which is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Confusing isn't it?
Though I was aware I could be facing a charge of plagiarism, I am too cocky to let this opportunity to pass. To let my colleague Jess put it in her own terms, there was a sense of Elmer in that effort.
And why not print something that's worth a read and make you gasp, oh yeah, I agree.
And why not? If eggplant is not an egg planted, nor pineapple contains either pine or apple, how could we say a boxing ring is square and guinea pig is not from Guinea or is a pig at all?
Call me pilosopo but I will tell you the English language is taken for granted. If I teach an Albanian or Azerbaijani, I cannot explain why if a maker makes and a baker bakes, then why don't fingers fing, letters lett, craters crate nor hammers ham. Or if a teacher taught Sciences, then why doesn't a preacher praught the doctrines of the church?
Pluralization is crazy. If a set of tooth is called teeth, then booth should be beeth. One goose, two geese so does it mean, moose will have meese? I doubt it. And if a vegetarian eat green leafy vegetables, then what type of race do humanitarians eat?
What's more, this language is a mixed combination of ironies and oxymorons when we do recite in a play or play in a recital; park in a driveway or drive in a parkway. When we call a house burning up when it's burning down or filling in a form when we actually fill it out.
Have you asked yourself why overlook and oversee be opposites, while "quite a lot" and "quite a few" are alike? How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another? Have you met a sung hero or a person who is ruly, with peccable language skills and gruntled behavior?
Of course man created English and it reflected the human race which is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? Confusing isn't it?
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4:13 PM
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